It’s Only Inches On The Reel-To-Reel
Sometimes it isn’t the fault of the people involved. It’s the fault of the people who shouldn’t be.
“Bobby, could you come over here for a minute?”
“Sure, Miss Jeanette. What is it?”
“Bobby, this is Mrs. Freeman, and she’s the school guidance counselor. She’d like to talk to you for a little while.”
“Okay. Hi, Mrs. Freeman.”
“Hello, Bobby. Bobby, we’ve noticed lately that you seem to be very sad. Do you feel very sad, Bobby?”
“Yes, Mrs. Freeman.”
“Would you like to talk about it, Bobby?”
“Well… I guess so.”
“You can say whatever you like to me, Bobby. I promise to keep it secret, between us.”
“Well, it’s… they’re so quiet all the time. You can tell something is wrong, but they don’t ever talk about it openly. It’s scary and I don’t know what to do. I just want them to get back together and love each other again and for everything to be like it was.”
“It’s okay to be scared, Bobby. But sometimes, mommies and daddies just can’t be together any more.”
“What? Mommies and daddies? Lady, you’re way off base. I’m talking about the end of Radiohead’s old record deal!”
“Now, Bobby, you don’t have to tell make believe stories.”
“Stories? Lady, the whole world knows about this one, especially the hardcore Radiohead fans. Some people are actually mad about this Radiohead Limited Edition Box Set and they’re spreading all these rumors about it! Like how ‘the band doesn’t get any money from these’ or something. I mean, of course Radiohead gets money! They’ve sold like a billion records and probably have a whole law firm on retainer, and people think they don’t get money? That’s just stupid!”
“So… it isn’t about your parents?”
“Who cares about parents? You don’t seem to understand, this is the band that made Pablo Honey, The Bends, OK Computer and Kid A. Then they did Amnesiac, I Might Be Wrong and Hail To The Thief but no one really blames them for that. People should be happy this Radiohead Limited Edition Box Set even exists, especially since each disc has the original artwork and a digipack sleeve and all the music, just like it was intended to be. How can it be a bad thing to have all the albums of your favorite band in one big package? But for some reason people are acting like… like…”
”…like they’re choosing sides in a breakup?”
“Yes! Oh, Mrs. Freeman, it feels so good to talk about this. Why can’t it just be about the music again? Why can’t people be excited about the additional special streaming footage? Why do people have to spread rumors and make things up? They used to be so happy together! Can’t sob can’t things just be the sob same again?”
“Oh, Bobby. Let it all out, Bobby. Jeanette, I think we’ve had a breakthrough here.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Freeman. You’re a miracle worker.”
“_sob_ I thought at least t-t-they’d put out an u-u-unplugged live album or something first like o-o-other bands do w-w-when their contract e-e-ends sob.”
“Just close the door, Jeanette. Everything will be okay, Bobby. Now the healing can begin.”
